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Che, Part Two-Reviewed

February 5, 2009

kevinby Kevin Egan • Operation Itch Contributing Writer   header 

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B

At the end of Che, Part One, viewers were left with quite a cliffhanger. After Castro (Demian Bichir) fell to his death in a field of vines and every enemy of Ernesto “Che” Guevara (Benecio Del Toro) had been eliminated through violent means, our protagonist had been dubbed heir to the thrown, while simultaneously shutting out his wife from his affairs. It was an unsettling moment as the door was closed so forcefully in her face. Still, we loved the Guevaras and desperately desired to see more of them. With Che, Part Two, director Steven Sodenbergh pulls no punches, giving us viewers the family epic we had been waiting for. Saturated with plot twists, celebrity cameos (Adam Sandler as Batista) and endings upon endings upon endings, this sequel supercedes the possibilities already established by other films, taking us into unexplored territories.

enecio Del Toro as Ernesto "Che" Guevara in the comedic romp, Che, Part Two.

enecio Del Toro as Ernesto "Che" Guevara in the comedic romp, Che, Part Two.

Part Two begins exactly where Part One left off, except this time around, Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) returns to the present time to warn Che about his troubling children and the havoc they are wreaking in the future. This catapults Che on another wacky adventure, outsmarting his old nemesis, Biff (Thomas F.Wilson), and rescuing his family from danger. Then, once Che believes he is clear of all hijinks, an apparition of his mentor, Ben (performed elegantly by the late Alec Guinness) appears, instructing him to go to the Degoba system, to study with an old Jedi master named “Yoda.” While Che follows this path outlined for him by his old friend, his children find themselves in trouble once more, except this time it comes in the form of a shark. Luckily for them, a desperate-for-any-kind-of-work Michael Caine (as himself) shows up to help them in their struggle.

Just like in Part One, Del Toro is again magnificent in the triple roles of Guevara, his wife and his ornery grandfather. And although the “fat suit” he wears through the second half of the film will most likely earn the make-up team an Oscar nomination, it is what Del Toro does with the suit that one finds most appealing. His ability to conjure up deep and funny voices for all three of the characters, as well as contort his face to provide the most comic expressions, is a skill unrivalled in the cinema today. Robert DeNiro himself could do no better.

Without giving too much away in regards to the ending, Che, Part Twoborrows from the classic comedy, Clue, offering multiple endings, each shown separately, depending on which theatre you attend. If you’re like me, you’ll see it more than once, hitting every theatre in town, for no other reason than to ensure you catch all the unbelievable ways in which Che’s fate hangs in the balance. This one’s a keeper!

4 out of 5 stars.  Bring the kids!!!

 

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Lefties Feel the Recession More than Most

January 26, 2009

kevinby Kevin Egan • Operation Itch Contributing Writer   header 

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Pitcher, "Lefty" Gomez in 1908. 

Pitcher, “Lefty” Gomez in 1908.

 

 

 

 

America's most famous "Lefty."

Ben Franklin: America’s most famous “Lefty.”

 

SAN DIEGO (AP)- After conducting a nationwide survey of numerous factions of Americans, The Center for Demographic Research released startling results today, concluding that left-handed people have been hit hardest by the current recession, more than any other category of Americans. 

“It seems that many left-handed people have been the first to be laid off at work,” said Nancy Frightenwood, spokesperson for The Center.  “In the blue collar world, most machines are built for right-handed people, which leaves the lefties at a disadvantage. And in the white collar world, it seems that simple things like office supplies can cause trouble for Lefties, slowing down their productivity and contribution to the company as a whole.” 

Many left-handed Americans, or “Lefties,” are grateful for the survey and the attention it has brought to their plight.  Massive demonstrations are currently being planned in multiple cities across the country, protesting the prejudice that has singled out lefties in these hard economic times.  In addition, Thursday, Jaunary 29th, is being dubbed, “National Left-handed Awareness Day,” to help shed some light on this troubling trend.         

Samuel Bluck, 53, of Indianapolis, Indiana, one of many left-handed people currently left unemployed by the recession, had recently been let go from his job at the Eddington Scissor Factory, causing “a double wham-y,” as Bluck described his situation, since not only had the machinery that built the scissors been designed for right-handed use, the scissors themselves were made exclusively for right-handed people as well.    

“There were times I found it almost impossible to test the scissors to see if they functioned correctly,” Bluck says.  “I knew when lay-offs were announced, I’d be the first to go.  I could see it in my foreman’s eye.”   

Gretta Dench, 41, of San Diego, California, also felt the pinch of the recession when she was relieved of her job with the banking firm of Addison and Flight, a job she had held for over twelve years.
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Excerpts from My Obama/Lost Fan Fiction

January 23, 2009

Meg Favreau/ 23/6     see more posts in Humor header

 

EXT – THE ISLAND – DAY

BARACK OBAMA, HURLEY, and CLAIRE are running through the jungle. All are sweating, out of breath, and wide-eyed. Obama leads the group, determined.

OBAMA: Come on!

The group crashes through the trees and brush, frantic. Finally, we see what is chasing them: the smoke monster.

HURLEY: What is it? What is it?

Obama stops and turns to look at the monster. Close up on his face.

OBAMA: It’s the economy.

CUT TO title: LOST

***

EXT – THE BEACH – NIGHT

All survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 are standing on the beach, talking and surrounding Barack Obama, who is lit dramatically by torch light.

SAWYER: You need to get us off this stinkin’ island, Obama!

SAYID: Does anybody even remember that the Others stole all our children?

LOCKE: This island has powers! I have a knife!

OBAMA: Look…my fellow survivors. I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed on me. That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every survivor, that we have duties, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

ROSE: Are you telling us that we need to build another boat?

OBAMA: Yes. And don’t let it catch fire this time.

***

INT – THE HATCH – DAY

An alarm is going off. BARACK OBAMA sits in front of a computer, typing.

OBAMA: John, I need to know what the numbers are!

CHIEF JUSTICE JOHN ROBERTS: 4, 8, 23…

OBAMA: 4, 8, 23…

CHIEF JUSTICE JOHN ROBERTS: Er, 4, 8 ,15, 16, 23…

OBAMA: 4, 8, 23, 15, 16…

The hatch explodes. Title: LOST.

End episode.

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Bratz Dolls May Give Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size

January 23, 2009

From THE ONION   see more posts in Humor    header

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Tipper Gore to be Inducted into Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame

January 22, 2009

kevinby Kevin Egan • Operation Itch Contributing Writer   header 

 see more posts in Humor  more  in Arts & Culture      read all posts by Kevin Egan

 

CLEVELAND (AP)-In what might be the most controversial news in the world of rock ‘n’ roll since the passing of Elvis Presley, it was announced today that Tipper Gore, wife of former Vice President, Al Gore, is to be inducted in the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame, causing both praise and outrage from rock ‘n’ roll fanatics throughout the world.

Gore, 60, besides being known as the wife of the former vice president, had also made a name for herself back in the Eighties by leading a group composed mostly of Washington wives called, The Parent’s Music Resource Center (or The P.M.R.C., as it was more infamously known).  The P.M.R.C.’s main task was to force the music industry to label  each record it released, in the same manner films were rated by the MPAA, particularly those that included “explicit lyrics.”

In response to many of the rock videos Gore had watched as part of her research with the P.M.R.C., she had once publicly cried, “The images frightened my children!  They frightened me!  I am frightened!  Way frightened!  The graphic sex and the violence were too much for us to handle.”         

200px-tgore1

Eventually, a Senate-hearing on the “dangers” of rock music was held and artists including Frank Zappa, Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider and legendary folk artist, John Denver, came to the defense of the first amendment rights of the artists in question.  It was later decided that each record company would “voluntarily” label albums if they felt they might cause a disturbance in certain communities.  Still, once the smoke had cleared, Tipper Gore had become a full-blown enemy of the rock world.   

Ironically, years later, after her husband and Bill Clinton had won the 1992 presidential election, The Gore’s made an appearance on MTV, the very channel they had once accused of perpetrating “pornography,” thanking all the young people that had supported them in their campaign.  Those that remembered the Tipper Gore of the 1980’s were shocked and somewhat perplexed by the appearance.
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Bush Calls for One Last War in Final Hours

January 22, 2009

kevinby Kevin Egan • Operation Itch Contributing Writer   header 

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tmq_obama_bush_200Washington (AP)- In his final couple of hours in office, George W. Bush declared war against the state of Hawaii, claiming that its native inhabitants may possibly be connected to terrorist organizations in the Middle East. 

In a last-minute joint-session, Congress quickly acted, approving the war,  stating the evidence that Bush has promised to provide as early as next week, was strong enough to support his decision to go to war. Though 44th President Barack Obama has already publicly denounced the war, he has gone on the record, stating, “Withdrawing troops from the state of Hawaii will be a long, painful process.  I wish I could do it in a day but that is asking the impossible.”  He then went on to set 2010 as the starting point for the withdrawal. 

When asked whether or not attacking one of our own states seemed reactionary and senseless, all parties involved refused to comment.   

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25 Ways to Coddle Your Man (and Earn His Appreciation)

January 16, 2009

This comes from FREIDA BEE. If you are not familiar with Ms. Bee, you are missing out. header

see  more posts in Sex & Relationships     see more posts in Humor
 
female-eating-hotdogInspired by Lisa’s post, and the great comments which followed, she and I have created a list of our own. In the spirit of feminism, this is a list by women for women. (Of course, men, you can use this list to gauge how satisfied you should be with your woman.)

25 Ways to Coddle Your Man (and Earn his Appreciation):

 

1. When your man spends six hours grilling meat for dinner (that you make the sides for, set the table for, and clean up after), be sure to thank him for making dinner by rewarding him later with a blow job (with a little barbecue sauce on the side, of course).

2. Never poop, never indicate that you poop, take great pains to cover up the fact that you produce and expel solid waste, even if it means you have to leave the house to go to a public place to do your business when he is at home. (Alternately, you could break something on purpose, so he must go to Home Depot, and then you can poo while he’s away.)

3. Hide all feminine hygiene products, both used and unused. Make sure to double wrap any used products and take the further step of burying them deeply in the trash, so he won’t accidentally see them when he empties the trash.

4. There is no question that a woman must douche, preferably twice, after having her period. Nothing good will come of reminding him that you have bodily functions.

5. After having children, consider vaginal rejuvenation.

6. Make him feel like you’re new again by occasionally purchasing and using theartificial hymen. If he’s squeamish about blood, you may want to do this only in the dark. Don’t forget to make the appropriate “first time” sounds.

7. Be sure to use the “skills” other men have taught you, taking special care not to mention where you might have learned them.
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