Posts Tagged ‘Eliot Spitzer’

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Happy Holidays from some pretty messed up families

December 19, 2008

23/6   more in HUMOR   top

The Spitzer family is not going to let a little whoring ruin Christmas. The Spitzers sent out a family holiday cardto friends and colleagues, with a photo on the front cover of the family on vacation. The quote inside the card read, “Hope is not a thing heedlessly given to be crushed by the vicissitudes of experience; rather it is the unanticipated reward of struggle endured, a gift of grace.”

They know from struggle endured, that’s for damn sure. As far as hope goes, this card hitting the press only made us hopeful for the other holiday cards that politicians will be sending out. Here are a few we hope to get in our mailbox…

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CHICAGO WINS!

December 11, 2008

aemiliasAemilia ScottOperation Itch Contributor

Hey New York: Suck it! SUCK IT! You feel that? That’s the feeling of Chicago coming up behind you and stealing your city’s thunder. Chicago is the Second City no longer. We are now the First City of endemic, bald faced, corruption. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has pushed us to number one! NUMBER ONE! Every other urban center in America can suck Chicago’s Rod.

I can clearly remember the pathetic grandstanding you New Yorkers did this year over Elliot Spitzer. “Oh, look at me, I’m from New York, My governor resigned because he spent 4000 bucks boinking a chick from New Jersey.” You know what? I could spend 4000 bucks boinking a chick from New Jersey if I really wanted to. And I’m not even running for Senate yet.

Your gubernatorial scandals fucking suck, New York. Blagojevich went to jail, and his predecessor Governor George Ryan is also in jail. That’s two consecutive governors in jail at once. And when Blago is booked, that’ll be five out of our last nine governors all doing jail time. EAT IT, New York State. Governor Patterson done anything dirty lately? I fucking doubt it.
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