Archive for the ‘sex & relationships’ Category


An Orgasm a Day to keep Capitalism Away

July 14, 2009

According to an article in the times UK

A National Health Service leaflet is advising school pupils that they have a “right” to an enjoyable sex life and that regular intercourse can be good for their cardiovascular health.

The advice appears in guidance circulated to parents, teachers and youth workers, and is intended to update sex education by telling pupils about the benefits of sexual pleasure. For too long, say its authors, experts have concentrated on the need for “safe sex” and loving relationships while ignoring the main reason that many people have sex, that is, for enjoyment.

Alongside the slogan “an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away”, it says: “Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes’ physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?”

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Hey Natalie Dylan, Here’s Some Advice for Selling Your Viginity

January 30, 2009

Liz Langley, AlterNet.   more posts in Sex & Relationships   header.jpg

“Virtue has never been as respectable as money.” — Mark Twain

“I always thought of losing my virginity as a career move.” — Madonna

Obama, Blagojevich, the economy, Gitmo, torture, Mickey Rourke … it’s been a juicy news month. So, who do you have to screw to get a little attention around here?

The answer: The highest acceptable bidder.

We are now officially in the 15 minutes of Natalie Dylan, the pseudonym of the enterprising 22-year-old who is auctioning off her virginity through the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada as part of a thesis project for a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy (she recently completed her BA in women’s studies from California State University, Sacramento). The bidding began in September and, as of this writing, is up to $3.7 million.

Natalie’s maiden muff is hers to do with as she wishes — sexual desires, values and limits vary wildly, and as long as no one gets hurt, t’ain’t nobody’s business what you do. We just wonder — what if some religious group buys it and decides to keep it intact forever?

Any pro-virginity faction could pool some loot and once the “Sold!” sign is planted (but not too deep) — WHAM! — on goes the chastity belt. Then she’ll be screwed — or not — for life. Imagine getting punk’d by Ned Flanders.
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What Do Women Want?

January 26, 2009

DANIEL BERGNER/ NYTIMES more posts in Sex & Relationships   header


Meredith Chivers is a creator of bonobo pornography. She is a 36-year-old psychology professor at Queen’s University in the small city of Kingston, Ontario, a highly regarded scientist and a member of the editorial board of the world’s leading journal of sexual research, Archives of Sexual Behavior. The bonobo film was part of a series of related experiments she has carried out over the past several years. She found footage of bonobos, a species of ape, as they mated, and then, because the accompanying sounds were dull — “bonobos don’t seem to make much noise in sex,” she told me, “though the females give a kind of pleasure grin and make chirpy sounds” — she dubbed in some animated chimpanzee hooting and screeching. She showed the short movie to men and women, straight and gay. To the same subjects, she also showed clips of heterosexual sex, male and female homosexual sex, a man masturbating, a woman masturbating, a chiseled man walking naked on a beach and a well-toned woman doing calisthenics in the nude.

While the subjects watched on a computer screen, Chivers, who favors high boots and fashionable rectangular glasses, measured their arousal in two ways, objectively and subjectively. The participants sat in a brown leatherette La-Z-Boy chair in her small lab at the Center for Addiction and Mental Health, a prestigious psychiatric teaching hospital affiliated with the University of Toronto, where Chivers was a postdoctoral fellow and where I first talked with her about her research a few years ago. The genitals of the volunteers were connected to plethysmographs — for the men, an apparatus that fits over the penis and gauges its swelling; for the women, a little plastic probe that sits in the vagina and, by bouncing light off the vaginal walls, measures genital blood flow. An engorgement of blood spurs a lubricating process called vaginal transudation: the seeping of moisture through the walls. The participants were also given a keypad so that they could rate how aroused they felt.

The men, on average, responded genitally in what Chivers terms “category specific” ways. Males who identified themselves as straight swelled while gazing at heterosexual or lesbian sex and while watching the masturbating and exercising women. They were mostly unmoved when the screen displayed only men. Gay males were aroused in the opposite categorical pattern. Any expectation that the animal sex would speak to something primitive within the men seemed to be mistaken; neither straights nor gays were stirred by the bonobos. And for the male participants, the subjective ratings on the keypad matched the readings of the plethysmograph. The men’s minds and genitals were in agreement.
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Broken Military Marriages: Another Casualty of War

January 23, 2009

Stacy BannermanAlterNet    header.jpg
more posts in Sex & Relationships 
More than 13,000 military marriages ended last year, and mine came dangerously close to becoming one of them, but it wasn’t because of some gays getting hitched. Military marriages are at increasingly high risk of failure, and combat is the cause.

Most of the boots on the ground in Iraq are worn by Marines, active duty Army, or Army National Guard. They have served the most and longest deployments, seen the most combat, and suffered the most injuries, both physical and psychological. In 2008, the active-duty Army and Marines also had a higher percentage of failed marriages than the Navy or Air Force, whose rates held steady or decreased slightly.

Divorce rates for women in the Army or Marines were nearly three times that of their male counterparts, which speaks volumes about the effect of war on women, as well as the gender roles, societal expectations, and resiliency of their husbands. The fact that the Veterans Administration has just a handful of gender-specific treatment programs for women, and there’s been scant attention, research, and support for women veterans speaks for itself.

A study published in Armed Forces & Society revealed that male combat veterans were 62 percent more likely than civilian males to have at least one failed marriage. In 2006, Kansas State University professor Walter Schumm surveyed 337 soldiers at Fort Riley who had recently returned from Iraq. 6.1 percent said they would probably divorce, and 12.2 percent indicated that they would be divorcing. By comparison, two to four percent of civilian marriages end in divorce each year.
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Rich Couples Can No Longer Afford ’50s Gender Roles

January 22, 2009

By Deborah Siegel, The Women’s Media Center   
headermore posts in 
Sex & Relationships 

Can we talk about how gender relations in the wake of layoff shakeup were portrayed in the media this week? And can we all just take a deep breath and get real?

In a bloated front-page profile in the New York Times Style section on Sunday, a headline informs us that a laid-off dad from Darien, Connecticut is “A Bit Lost.” Scott Berry, the dad in question, lost his job as a technology analyst for a boutique investment firm in Manhattan in December 2007 and has actively been looking for a new position ever since. Meanwhile, Scott’s wife Tracey, who has gone back to work after a brief stint at home, balks at the prospect of buying her kids clothes at Walmart.

“How can you complain about my spending when you don’t have an adequate income?” Tracey asks Scott during their arguments. “How can you complain about me not earning an adequate income, when you can’t control your spending?” asks Scott. Less sympathetic is the anonymous wife from Tribeca who tells us that in her family it was his job to provide a nice lifestyle while hers was to run the household and the children’s lives. When he loses his Wall Street bonus and his income drops from $800,000 to $150,000 a year, she’s bitter and crushed. “Let me just say this,” she tells the reporter. “I’m still doing my job.”

Let me say this: I feel their pain. But is this Father Knows Best or the Great Recession of 2009?
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25 Ways to Coddle Your Man (and Earn His Appreciation)

January 16, 2009

This comes from FREIDA BEE. If you are not familiar with Ms. Bee, you are missing out. header

see  more posts in Sex & Relationships     see more posts in Humor
female-eating-hotdogInspired by Lisa’s post, and the great comments which followed, she and I have created a list of our own. In the spirit of feminism, this is a list by women for women. (Of course, men, you can use this list to gauge how satisfied you should be with your woman.)

25 Ways to Coddle Your Man (and Earn his Appreciation):


1. When your man spends six hours grilling meat for dinner (that you make the sides for, set the table for, and clean up after), be sure to thank him for making dinner by rewarding him later with a blow job (with a little barbecue sauce on the side, of course).

2. Never poop, never indicate that you poop, take great pains to cover up the fact that you produce and expel solid waste, even if it means you have to leave the house to go to a public place to do your business when he is at home. (Alternately, you could break something on purpose, so he must go to Home Depot, and then you can poo while he’s away.)

3. Hide all feminine hygiene products, both used and unused. Make sure to double wrap any used products and take the further step of burying them deeply in the trash, so he won’t accidentally see them when he empties the trash.

4. There is no question that a woman must douche, preferably twice, after having her period. Nothing good will come of reminding him that you have bodily functions.

5. After having children, consider vaginal rejuvenation.

6. Make him feel like you’re new again by occasionally purchasing and using theartificial hymen. If he’s squeamish about blood, you may want to do this only in the dark. Don’t forget to make the appropriate “first time” sounds.

7. Be sure to use the “skills” other men have taught you, taking special care not to mention where you might have learned them.
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Sex in 2009: Five Predictions From HBO’s Sexpert

January 12, 2009

Mike Alvear   •  more in SEX & RELATIONSHIPS header
other 2009 predictions

A friend once described his sexual appetites this way: “A hungry junkyard dog is more fun than a poodle.” He’s going to be one happy puppy after he reads my five predictions for sex in 2009:

1. You’re going to have a lot more of it. 
The recession that hit your pocket will tickle your crotch. Call it Recession Sex. If you’re coupled, you’re going to spend more time at home and at some point that TV’s gotta be turned off. The nesting impulse will increase your resting pulse. That’s the good news. The bad? As discretionary income goes down, indiscretions go up. Oops. If you’re single, you’ll have the time but not the money to fritter away at bars. You won’t wait for the last-call yard sale so you’ll probably lower the bar to increase your odds. 

2. You’re going to see a lot more of it.

Larry Flynt once said, “There are two kinds of people who oppose porn. Those who don’t know what they’re talking about and those who don’t know what they’re missing.” Well, ain’t nobody missing it anymore. It’s everywhere. The mainstreaming of porn in art, fashion, and media is turning adult videos into a sort of Zen koan: No matter where you go, there it is. 

3. You’re going to be paying a lot less for it.

Nobody’s going to put call girls in a higher tax bracket this year. With a tanking economy, streetwalkers, pole dancers and gold diggers alike are going to have to give it up for less. So are the online dating sites, as they compete with free sites like,, and It’s like they’ve been working a corner for years and now some hussy’s going to do the job for free. Oh, my.

You might blow a lot of things up for porn but it won’t be your budget. You don’t have to buy it anymore. Hell, you don’t even have to rent it. You just have to point your browser to free sites like and, where amateurs and pros upload unstoppable watchables. Offline piracy, illegal downloads and free video sharing sites are going to make dinosaurs out of adult video studios. If they don’t figure out how to compete with “FREE” soon, their last movie is gonna be about their profits–Gone With The Girdle. 

4. You’re going to be doing it with things that are smarter than you. 

Safe sex is not a padded headboard, but it is programmable. Take the SaSi vibrator. It’s a sort of iTunes dildo–it remembers your favorite vibrations so you can play them later. Make it go left, right and a little to the side and it’ll ‘record’ the vibrational combinations, releasing you from, well, all that hard work. 

5. You’re going to see videos of strangers before you do it with them. 

Online dating sites have already introduced relevant searching methods, instant messaging, and mobile phone access to pictures and profiles. What’s next? Videos. They’ll get rid of flakes that use fake pictures, serving as a kind of Venus Lie Trap. Watch AOL’s beta test of, the first to bundle Instant Messenger, audio and video into a traditional dating site.

My bottom line prediction for sex in 2009: The No Pants Dance craze will sweep the nation.